A Letter To Miley Cyrus

Well, said. I wish more people felt that way. I was disheartened to see her mother cheering her on and the crowd screaming for more. When she implodes, people will talk trash about her. The same people who cheer her know will say how they knew she was in trouble. I wish someone had taken her by the hands and said “it is okay to just be a kid.” It is too late for that kid but it is not too late for the adult to make a stand for self-respect.

The Happy Heart

Dear Miley,

I, as well as millions of Americans, sat in amazement as I watched your VMA performance. No, you are not the first artist to grind on a backup dancer (however you may be the first to grind on a teddy bear but who knows), sing about your life of partying and drug abuse, or to strip down to your chonies. It’s all been done before. So why is your performance evoking such media attention, anger, amusement, and general confusion? Well, I have yet to speak to the millions of viewers personally, but here are a few of my guesses.

1. Yes, we all know that you are NOT Hannah Montana and we are all aware that you are of legal age to make your own decisions and mistakes. I am sincerely sorry that at such a young age you were forced to adhere to the pressure of being…

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Misery Loves Company

State fruit - Tomato

State fruit – Tomato (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well, it seems I am not the only yard gardener suffering from this weather. So much rain has ruined so many gardens. The pests/insects are also running rampant due to our mild winter and the wet and warm spring and summer.

I am still picking tomatoes but the squash (including pumpkins), melons, cukes, peppers and pretty much anything else has gone stringy and leggy with flowers that fall from the vine.

I went shopping and had to purchase lettuce, cukes, peppers and onions. All things I planted this year but did not thrive. My bosses have other veggies that have fared better but it seems my tomatoes are the only survivors.

We plan to cut back more shrubbery and trees that have long grown unattended and hope that next year will bring about a better, sunnier and drier growing season. We are still having warm mid-80 degree temps here but as soon as we begin to cool I plan to put lettuce back in and peas as well. Maybe a few other cold fall plantings closer to the house.

Can’t give up on growth. Nature doesn’t.

My Kid

English: Disney World, Orlando, Florida

English: Disney World, Orlando, Florida (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I must say, I have loved being a mom. I have the most awesome kid in the world! I really do! She went away for a week to Disney for a friend’s wedding. Actually, it was the wedding of her friend’s mother but it was cancelled so they all went to Disney for a week-long vacation. Lucky girl.

Her first visit to Disney was in 2001 for the family honeymoon. She was eight. It was wicked busy and we met with friends for a day of fun. Now, it had been many years since I had been but one day is not enough and we were already exhausted. Her biggest dream was to meet Goofy! Little did she know that Disney would not be a magical place for her. We searched high and low. She met Mickey and Minnie, Pluto and a plethora of other characters, no Goofy. Then, she got separated from us. We were all terrified! She HATED DIsney and never wanted to go back!

Well, it was eight years later when we went back to Disney for a marching band competition/performance. We had a great time and visited EPCOT. We actually went to three different ‘kingdoms’ while we were there. STILL, NO GOOFY!! She was not impressed.

Five years passed and she has spent an entire week at Disney World and she has had an awesome experience. She has ridden all the scary rides. Eaten scrumptious foods at the Brown Derby and Victoria & Alberts. She also ate at the chef’s table and was treated to eleven delectable course including Kobe beef. She saw Gary Sinise eating with his dad. Her waiter knows Samantha Brown personally! SHe was having a great time! But, to top off her visit to the Magic Kingdom, she FINALLY met Goofy and had her picture taken with him! Her vision of Disney has been restored. We even received a postcard in the mail from her! AND SHE MISSED US AND WISHED WE WERE THERE WITH HER!!

Maybe I didn’t do such a bad job after all. SHe still has a little bit of a kid in her. She still wants her mommy and daddy, just not 24-7. My baby is starting grad school next week and we move her into her new apartment in two weeks. We are all moving forward but not too quickly!

Really Bummed

English: insulin resistance model

English: insulin resistance model (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

GlucAffect - Metabolic Syndrome

GlucAffect – Metabolic Syndrome (Photo credit: Reliv International)

I am really bummed out here people! I have been home for three weeks. I felt like I was doing okay but have had some carb cravings from hell! I have gained 5 pounds!! Seriously, not cool.

So, I am going back on the high protein and low carb WOL. See, I have Metabolic Syndrome or Syndrome X or whatever they are calling it these days. 22 years ago I was diagnosed with PCOS – Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Basically, my ovaries slowly stopped fully producing eggs and my metabolism slowed and I started gaining weight. Doctors did not know much about PCOS at the time. There were three options: take Provera four times a year, take birth control pills (did not work), or have a pie-shaped cut taken out of my ovaries – not sure how or why this was to help, really.

Three years later all put the ovaries were removed. One of the “side-effects” of not menstruating regularly is cervical dysplasia. Squamous cell carcinoma. After that, I was put on Spironilactone and Actos. No, not really helpful.

Three more years and additional weight I was diagnosed with hypertension, high lipids and triglycerides. Lipitor.

Then Insulin Resistance – IR – my cells stopped accepting the insulin needed to process the glucose. The body increases the insulin because the cells say “hey, we need insulin!” It is a vicious cycle. Metformin/Glucophage.

Here we are, fifteen years later and no better off. More is known but each doctor treats it differently. I have been told to eat more fiber and exercise more. I have had my Metformin doubled. My new doctor (I moved) doesn’t give Metformin, he says to eat a low glycemic diet.

I was also diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Synthroid.

Lyme Disease. Strong antibacterial. Lyme Disease sucks. Joint pain. Crazy pain. Tired. At my worst, I can sleep for 10-12 hours. My norm is about 6 when I am feeling good.

But, back to those five pounds. It may not seem to be a whole lot but when you are trying to lose 70 and you gain 5? Well, it kind of sucks. ANY carbs leads to carb cravings and overdose. To lose weight, none. Nada.

I have done the Syndrome X Diet back when I was first diagnosed and it worked. Really well. BUT, it is HARD. H-A-R-D! I had such severe cravings, like coming down or the DTs, I would sit on the couch and cry. My poor family could do nothing. The desire was tempered by my desire to not have a stroke or heart attack. I was scared.

Not as scared now. Probably because I hurt and am tired all the time. I realize that I need to figure out how to eat without the cravings and still lose weight. The extreme diet I used in the past is too extreme. I work with PK-4th grade kids, I need to have my sanity.

So, I am doing the protein drink in the morning. Chicken and salad for lunch. Meat and veg (green beans or broccoli) for dinner. I need to drop the 70 for my health and well-being.

Pray for me … and my husband. 😀

The Soggy Summer of 2013

I have been on the brink of throwing in the towel but I am replanting some things. Gonna’ give it another try.

Bloggin' Billy's

The soggy summer of 2013

It’s July 18, 2013 and I’ve yet to enjoy the first tomato from the garden, or bean, or cucumber. This time last year I had two pressure cookers humming, two food dehydrators desiccating tomato slices. I was happy, blissfully happy while putting up food for my family. Not to be this year my friends. The weather pattern has shifted. We’re in a rainforest this year (not complaining after so many years of drought). It’s not the rain that is worrisome. I can live with the rain; it is the complete lack of sunshine. In fact, July 16 and 17 were the first full-sun days since May.
I had already told Farmer Billy we needed to give up. Stop planting seeds because we were just wasting our time. Kelle’s brought seedlings over (they drowned the next day following a rain storm), I’ve planted bean seeds. She’s…

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Children

Thinking

Thinking (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)

Even when they are grown up, they are your children. Mine will always be my baby. I know. I hated it also! My mom would tell people I was “her baby” and I immediately corrected her by saying “youngest.” Now, I get it. It doesn’t matter too much at this point. My daughter understands since she is my one and only, she will always be my baby. Even when she is married and a mom herself. She gets it. In this instance, she is more mature than I was at her age.

That being said. I am still trying, after 21 years, to get her to understand a couple of things we do as grown ups. One, when you are going somewhere, you tell your parents. Not to the store or out for dinner with friends, but leaving the state for more than a run across the border in a day kind of traveling. My daughter shares her calendar with us so we don’t call or text her while she is at work. We want to be professional and give her space to do things she has to do. My schedule is online as well so she can see when to call me and not interrupt my work day unless it is an emergency. So I knew she was flying to Florida for a wedding this month. I did not know she was leaving three days earlier to drive to Pennsylvania with her friend (whose mother is getting married). She did not leave an itinerary, no flight numbers, nor hotel name or room number, nada.

I have tried to instill in her the knowledge that you have to prepare for emergency situations. You make plans, just in case. I guess the two years of Girl Scouts did nothing at all. She used to be a planner. Like me. Yes, I like my lists and plans and all of those very OCD kind of things. Order makes me calm and feel like I am in control. Yes, I know I am not really in control and this is a game I play with myself. I thought I taught her to plan and implement.

In many ways my daughter is like me. She has picked up many of my good habits. Unfortunately, she has picked up a few back ones, like worry and stress. But she has not learned how to prevent some of that stuff. She has learned from her dad that it is okay as long as we a re having fun. That may not be a fair statement. I will give you an example of what I mean. My husband is the put off chores and lets have fun now kind of person. You know, “It will still be there when we get back” kind of person. He never understood when I would respond, “I know, that is the problem.”

My daughter has become that kind of person. Fun first. The difference is, she freaks out later and does the “Oh no! It is a problem now because I did not plan for …” and calls me to help her plan her way out of a problem she could have avoided on the front end.

So, her not letting us know she had left the state and was flying out of a different state, does not seem to be an issue for her. This is her dad’s way of thinking. I can just imagine his parents trying to raise him. It must have been terrible trying to keep track of where he was and who he was with at any given moment. I think they may have given up. They had other, more responsible children. I have one. She is my only child. I cannot give up. I will not.

So, I try humor. “You have to let me know where you are and where you are staying just in case I decide to die and Daddy has to let you know.”

Unfortunately, she is a chip off the block. “Sorry, I did dnot know you were planning to die any time soon.”

“No, it was ‘just in case’ because you never know.”

“Mo-o-om.” I can see the eyes rolling as we text.

Maybe I am a bit more OCD that I should be but it is because I live in a much too non-OCD world where it is okay for people to come and go and no one knows where you are. Maybe I should work for the government. I could teach mom’s how to indoctrinate their children into accepting the “motherly” hand of “Big-Brother.” Hmmm, a whole new career option just opened up for me.

Must run and explore that line of thought and make a plan. See ya’.