Why teachers are such a pain in the butt


During the lockdown today we had a few conversations where students questioned their safety. The library is glass walled. They have a point. What they don’t understand is it isn’t just the walls that keep them safe.

Each day I enter school I take on the extra responsibility of a parent. I treat students as if they are my kids. I expected the same I’d my daughter’s teachers when she was still in school.

One thing I would do for my child, without thought, is protect her from harm. Be it a bully or a bullet, I will place myself in between. I expected this of those work whom I left my daughter each day. I repay by doing the same.

We, teachers, in loco parentis, in place of parents, we care for the educational health and the physical health of those children in our care. So, we are pains in the butt. We will nag. Cajole. Push. Shield. Praise. It is inherent in us.

Parents, please know this. We are here too make sure you’re babies live long successful lives. Have a talk with your children. Explain to them threat they need to follow the directions from their teachers and police officers is times of crisis.

Twice today, I put myself on the line for a group of students who felt they needed to leave the building. If there had been an active shooter in our building, they would be in harm’s way as I would. They had no regard for their safety, mine, or any other student.

Only you can help us keep your babies safe. Support us. To many parents were more concerned with getting to work on time. Getting to their children without concern for the risk to that child, teacher, officer.

My mind has been blown by this as we all witnessed the tragedy in Florida and observed a day in remembrance and have berated those officers who didn’t protect the students and staff.

Thank you RPD. We are all safe now because of you.


Too many boobs, butts, and penis drawings

Yes, I’m talking about high school.

I recently returned to high school after teaching adults and elementary over the past seventeen years. There are a few things that surprise me about high school and quite a bit that does not.

For example, they are still kids and kids love certain things; candy, a pat on the back, a well placed “good job” and “I’m proud of you.” Even the occasional hug. They still love interest in what they are doing and saying, just like elementary school kids, and want adults to notice them. They want to make someone proud. They want to be appreciated and heard, even when you do not agree, they notice that you listened.

Now, those things that surprise me. First, let me say that kids will do what they can get away with and will try to push the boundaries. What I am seeing as students walk through the doors each morning:

Hoodies up, pants down – male and female. I see way too much underwear and it ain’t pretty.

Girls dressed like street walkers and pole dancers. Seriously.

Boobs, butts, and midriffs, and whatever else they can get away with.

Now, our district has policies and you can hear the teachers and administrators yelling at the kids to take out the earbuds, pull down the hoodies, pull up the pants, cover up the boobs and midriffs, wear leggings under the torn clothing … you get the drift.

The surprise is not that the kids are doing it but that the parents send their kids to school like this. Not just one or two. Not even only a handful or two. Out of 1350 kids I’d say 10% are dressed completely appropriately, another 10% appropriate for the most part, and 5% get “the look” from teachers because they are close to breaking the rules but not quite. That leaves 75% of students dressed inappropriately for school.

Seriously! I feel bad for male teachers because some of these young ladies look like grown women with their hair, nails, and make-up and dressed like a night out on the town. When did it become acceptable to send your girls to school looking like they turn tricks, dance around poles, or like they are TRYING to turn on every guy in the room?

We wonder why teachers seem to be having more sex with students? They do not look or act like children and parents are sending them out into the world like this. No, it is not an excuse. Teachers should know better. Students are children, regardless, If you cannot figure that out, leave the profession.

Now, behaviors of students are getting more out of control as well and it is a reflection of home life. My students can string together profanities (usually correctly) but cannot ask to use the bathroom correctly. One, parents, stop swearing around your kids as if it is a new language. Two, schools, push appropriate grammar to both student and faculty.

These students will not determine my future retirement, thankfully; however, they will determine our children’s future.

Parents, get a grip on parenting. Stop being the bad example. Stop being permissive. Parenting is hard, I know. If one is hard, do not have more. Really. Focus on making the one you have the most awesome kid they can be instead of passing on half raised children to the school systems, it isn’t the school’s job to raise your child and neither is it the teachers’.



As a teacher, I am held accountable for more than just teaching your child and mine. Teachers are being held accountable for the mental well-being of students, we are social workers. We are held accountable for student attendance. We are held accountable via a test for student achievement when parents write bogus notes for student absences, unexcused absences and tardies. Students can miss half a school year and then we have to give them a standardized test to gauge whether or not I did my job in imparting knowledge into the student’s brain. Perhaps we should set it up to represent the actual class time a student has. If they are in attendance 50% of the time the test should reflect 50% correct answers. If the student has more than 50% correct, give the teacher a bonus because he/she somehow got more into the brain and it stuck than the child’s attendance allowed.

Okay, back to the title. I addressed the “Too many boobs” and “butts” issue and now on to the penis drawings.

My lovely students feel it is appropriate to draw or write on furniture, which is so very not appropriate in and of itself. My furniture is entering its second year, actually the entire school is two years old and it is the city’s showcase school. So, seeing students deface the school is disheartening, to say the least, but to see them drawing and writing profanities on the furniture is incredibly sad. The students complain about the school being dirty, it isn’t when I arrive at 7:00 each morning but by 8:00 there is trash on the floor (breakfast) and by the end of the day it looks like food fights have taken place in the stair wells. At lunch time, students leave food on the tables and floors, spilled liquids on tables and floors, many cannot be bothered to dispose of their own trash. They just walk away. Some purposely spit food out and where it lands is where it stays.

I put boxes outside my room for students to have a drop and swap of breakfast items. I put any leftovers on my desk for students to eat throughout the day (which they do). I plan to do the same in the cafeteria when school gets back in session. I am hoping that the kids will see the benefits of not wasting food and picking up items to keep their school clean.

In Japan, students in schools are expected to clean up after themselves and many schools have no custodial services. Students and staff clean up and do not make messes. In America, we clean up after kids all the time and do not expect them to do it for themselves so it is

No wonder they act like little animals flinging food and feces. We, as a society, have allowed this behavior. Parents either do not pick up the home at all and do not train the children or do it all for the children and schools do the same. I have had elementary students tell me that it is the “janitor’s job” to clean up after them when I caught they throwing things on the floor.

We, as a society, need to hold parents accountable for education and manners. Recently, a guidance counselor at a staff meeting told us of a parent conference he had that week. The parent asked why she was being told about her son’s attendance (or lack thereof) and wanted to know why he showed her the child’s report card (he is failing). She said it had nothing to do with her. Yeah.

This is why our kids are failing. This is more prevalent than you may think. I have seen this attitude in urban, suburban, and rural school districts. It bridges socio-economic gaps.

My suggestion is to hold parents accountable from day one of prekindergarten and be consistent through graduation. However, a teacher cannot make this happen. A school principal cannot make this happen. This needs to start at the Department of Education for each state and the US. Do not even get me started on truancy laws because they are not effective when not upheld. Do not just pass laws but carry them out. Pass laws that make parents pay a penalty, whether monetarily or time based, and you will see a change in behaviors.

Teach all kids parenting skills – beginning in elementary (babysitting skills). Teach kids manners – beginning in elementary. Teach kids how to clean and instill the desire for order and cleanliness (we know kids learn better in clean and orderly environments). Hold mandatory parenting and manners classes for parents whose kids break the rules. Hold English and vocabulary classes for parents in order to assist them in speaking better (less profanity) around their children and to assist with better job skills.

As a society, we need to take back the right and wrong of child-rearing and teaching. It is so much harder to break bad habits once they are in place but if we start at day one, we can prevent some of those bad habits from forming or at least curb them a bit. People conform to the majority – it is just how it is – so the majority needs to be trained appropriately.

Oh, and stop drawing penises on my tables.

Adult Bullies

This past school year I have seen numerous students bully and be bullied. We work to correct the behavior to no real avail. The problem does not start with the student. The problem begins with the role model. When we call parents about the behavior they attempt to bully us into not punishing their child. This year we have had an adult bully, not a sneaky/sly bully, but an outright, blatant bully in our school. She picks and chooses the ones she wants to terrorize. I was told that she focused on white faculty and staff, this was by a fellow teacher who is of color. She noticed that the bullying was based on race. Why this behavior is allowed by employees, I don’t know. We call SOME students on the carpet for this behavior. Why the double standard?

It appears my recent posts have been about race. Others’ problems with my race. Let us call it what it is, racism. I don’t say reverse racism because I think that is a crap term. Racism isn’t just one race (white) against another (black). Racism is ANY person who believes they are better because of their race and treats other as if they are less based solely on ‘race’. There are so few pure races in the US it seems absolutely absurd to base an opinion on someone solely on the color of their skin or the perception of who they are from the outer package. Please.

Let’s take control of our schools. We have a student code of conduct, let’s use it. We have an employee code of conduct, let’s use it. Too many double standards. Break the rules, pay the consequences. Once we get the adult bullies in line perhaps we can address the student bullies.

I can change my mind, right?

The last time I posted was a year ago after I moved to Richmond, VA. I was not too happy about it as I viewed it as a necessary evil. A year plus later and I have changed my mind. We have acclimated to our neighborhood, and we actually live in a real neighborhood where people wave at you and chat over the fence! Really. It is cool.

Now, there are still drawbacks. Loud, thumping radios in cars as they drive by are my biggest peeve. It is intrusive. Not a fan. My husband and I are very quiet people, not weirdly so but because there are two of us in a small apartment we do not feel the need to shout. We will walk back into the room where the other person is speaking. Okay, another peeve or irritant is my neighbor screaming at her boyfriend/baby daddy for the same reason. It is intrusive. I do not want to know anything about their personal lives or experience their tastes in music. Selfish of me, I know. Get over it. I don’t want to share those things with anyone other than my closest friends and family.

Any who, back to the topic at hand. My neighborhood and my change of view on living here. I guess it isn’t a real change but more of an acceptance of city living. We spent much of the past year exploring venues, breweries, farmers’ markets, and natural area – beaches, parks, battlegrounds that have grown over, etc. We like that there is so much to offer within a 15-20 minute drive from our house.

The downfall became my job. I was getting up at 4:00 AM to work out, shower, dress, finish the morning prep and get out the door and travel an hour plus to work. Yep. Still travelling quite a way to and from work. By the end of the day I was exhausted. I was so tired that I would spend most of Saturday sleeping and therefore missing church and not being a member of my two person relationship. Sunday was housework, prep, lesson plans, and no fun. It was getting old around December break and I had been ride sharing with two coworkers. Ride sharing was fun as the three of us rotated driving to and from work but it had a drawback as well. I am so very allergic to cats and one of  my coworkers has cats. I ended up with bronchitis twice and a lingering respiratory infection through the fall. So I began driving by myself. I wouldn’t get home until 5:00 PM or later. Makes for a flipping long day!

This summer my husband and I decided to explore even more. We discovered a vendor who sells beef chorizo, an international market selling amazing foods we were struggling to find elsewhere, and a great place to purchase staples for less. No, not telling you where. We visited a few nice places, July 4 on the Hofmeier rooftop, Texas Beach, walked the canal and around town, and discovered a a new coffeehouse within a mile so we can walk on nice days.

So, I still like where we live and are looking to purchase a home in the neighborhood. We still walk around the park and speak to our neighbors. The girl upstairs doesn’t fight with her boy toy as much, the kid next door is almost never home and when he is he is fairly quiet, I am not sure from which apartment the pot smell is coming, and life goes on.

Oh, and I don’t have to travel so far any more. I got a job in Richmond and am very excited! So, not so tired at the end of the day and we can do stuff during the week. The first of which was to attend a high school football game, we won! I foresee many more of those in the future.

I may even get to blog more.

The “big” city

I had forgotten how bad living in the city could be. Don’t get me wrong, I love the ‘stuff’ associated with a city. There is variety. Variety of food, shops, cultures, events, and more. This, we love and have missed living in small towns such as Wytheville and Williamsburg, Virginia. They both have their charms and amenities. Wytheville was a great place to raise a child. Everyone knows everyone and your kid is safe at the neighbors. It was great. Williamsburg was great because it had the feel of Wytheville but the amenities of a city. Bookstores and coffee shops. The drawback was once you had seen and done everything, well, you had seen and done everything. We tried to go out for a late dinner after a movie one night and just about everything was closed up.

Richmond, VA is a city and it still has a hometown feel in some places. We were out and about this morning and met some great people. We stopped into a diner for a cup of coffee not realizing we were hungry because we had eaten around six a.m. So we looked at the menu and ordered breakfast. I had eggs, grits, and a large bowl of fresh fruit and hubs had a HUGE omelet, toast, and rosemary potatoes. While we waited, we struck up a conversation with an older lady (72), her son (we think), and grandson (we think – they weren’t really clear). They were awesome! Super nice and had lived in the area for quite a long time. Well traveled and culturally savvy. Once they were gone we spoke to our waitress, who happened to also be the owner of the 821 Cafe in Carytown. The restaurant was small but full and open and jostling with life. The food was great, too.

We moved on The Tech Exchange next door and left hubs talking tech with one of the workers. We bought a Lowe’s card at Martin’s to buy a weed eater at Lowe’s we had found online because when you did that you got 50 cents per gallon off of their store gas price. The girls accidentally gave us 61 cents off and said, “Welcome to Richmond!” We went to Lowe’s, they did not have the Black and Decker weed whacker and blower combo we had seen online but looked it up at another store, and we were off. At the other store, they had one but it was missing parts so the department manager gave us the next one up for the same price! We hunter gathered our other items and used our 10% off coupon (for changing our mailing address) and the Lowe’s card. The lighting manager helped us search for some items we couldn’t find and was super nice as well!

Off to Martin’s to purchase a few groceries and then fill up the tank with out 61 cents per gallon discount. We purchased just enough items that we earned another 10 cents off!! We loved the amount of gluten-free items available but were not really impressed with much else. Oh well. We went to get gas and paid 1.12 per gallon after the discounts!!

Once home, hubby had to play with his new lawn tools while I put away groceries and started dinner. We had been out all day. So far, loving the city. Hubs came in for dinner after weed whacking and blowing the lawn and we went back out to mow with the wonderful lawn mower my dad gave us. We live on a postage stamp and the management company mows every other week when they get around to it. :/

Here is the not so great part. While getting ready to mow the lawn a man rides up on his bike and offers to mow the lawn for free. Hubs thanks him and explains that we are doing it. The man leaves his bicycle in the middle of the road and approaches hubs. He becomes belligerent when we tell him he left his bike in the middle of the street. He is fairly intoxicated, asks for cigarettes, and calls my husband “stupid.” Hubs tells him to leave after being polite doesn’t work. He had to tell him a couple of times and threaten to call the police before he would move away. So he stood in the street yelling, “Mow the grass,” and calling hubs a “motherf****r” and “stupid.” He tried to adjust his shorts and they fell to his ankles. He stood in the middle of the street as cars drove around him.

That is the problem I did not miss living in Wytheville and Williamsburg. No drunks, no being accosted in your own front yard. I miss the feeling of safety I had living in those areas. I had no problem going out for a walk at night or driving to the store. I never felt that I needed my husband to keep me safe. I am having those feelings here. I did not feel that way when I lived in San Diego, Seattle, Jacksonville, Tampa, or St. Pete. I feel that here. Maybe it is because of the racial divide I feel is in the air here. If you haven’t figured it out, I am white. I come from a multicultural/racial family as does my husband, but we are white, no doubt. I feel that I am being judged for that right now. My neighborhood is mixed, whites, blacks, Asians, Hispanics/Latinos. Seems like white is bad these days. If we looked like our ‘white’ neighbors in the neighborhood (tattoo’d, vibrantly colored hair, shved heads, etc) we would probably fit better. We look like someone’s parents. Middle class white people. No tats, no funky hair, rings, nothing distinct. Kind of funny these days. Being ‘normal’ is bad? I guess in a city like Richmond it is.

I am hoping to find my niche and get along with my neighbors. So far, most have been welcoming. If you need an apartment for a really good price, check out Atlantic Beacon. There are two units in the 1913 quad we live in across from a great park undergoing renovations. I am putting in a garden in the back yard, which doesn’t belong to the quad but the church attached to the backside of our unit. We worked a deal with the minister, we cut the lawn and they’ll let us garden back there. If you’re a gardener, it is a great spot!


Life and so forth…

It is amazing what changes for the better or worse life can bring. Since my last post about Garcinia Cambogia and my weight issues I have been diagnosed with gluten intolerance, removed all gluten and most grains from my diet, and lost nearly 30 pounds.

I am feeling better. Most of my joint pains have dissipated. My ‘bad’ lipids are in the high normal range and my ‘good’ lipids (HDL) is in the mid-high normal range. My stomach issues have nearly gone altogether.

I am trying to eat a ketogenic diet as apposed to high protein diet, which seems to work better. I am still working on getting the ratios right. I did not think it would be hard to get ‘enough’ fat in my diet but I seem to fail daily. :/ I add coconut oil and butter (grass-fed) where I can and still do not get enough. I am not a big fan beef or fish so I have to add good oils where I can. Salad at lunch with an olive oil vinaigrette, nuts, and seeds help. I like chicken but finding skin-on chicken is difficult at times.

We switched to more grass-fed, non-GMO, non-hormone, non-everything foods so I eat the same thing most days. Pea protein smoothies for breakfast (which is fine as it is simple and easy clean-up), salad for lunch, and meat and veg for dinner. Occasionally, we have potatoes or brown rice or brown rice pasta. I try to have as many green vegetables as possible when I eat them. Even my salads are spinach or kale based with romaine lettuce mixed in.

So, I am doing better. Eating-wise, that is.

Stress, well, that is a whole other thing. In the spring my husband and I decided we needed to live closer to my dad and my daughter. My dad is 85 and getting, well, 85. We want to spend as much time with him as possible and take care of him if necessary. My step-mother is 70 but had an injury to her hand that has left her less capable of doing things. We decided it would be easier for us to live closer so I started looking for a job nearer to hi location. No jobs that I was interested in appeared and I really like the comfort of my job, my students are great, and I have developed good friendships with my coworkers. I was not too devastated that a job did not appear by the end of the school year in June.

By the end of June; however, my landlord decided to end our lease – a whole two months early! He gave us five weeks notice to vacate as he wanted to move back into his house. Not our apartment, but the house. He gave notice to the residents in the house as well. 😦 As much of a shock this was as we had not planned to move until the following year, we took the bull by the horns and looked at the city where we would be closer to my dad and my daughter who lives three hours from us. The move would knock an hour off of each trek, either to her or to my dad. This was a gift in some ways and a curse in others.

Financially, the curse. We were not financially prepared to pack, move, and rent a new apartment. Physically, curse and blessing. We are strong and fairly healthy so we could pack and move ourselves with help from our daughter and a friend. The daughter came down a weekend early to go through her stuff and eliminate things she could live without, take some back to her apartment, and repack the rest. Sixteen large tubs dropped to six. WOOT! The move was brutal; however, as the temperatures were in the high 90s the week we moved. Better than this week as we have topped off at 100 for the last couple of days.

We are almost settled. We have to paint out the kitchen. The property management company did not get it done in time for us to move. We have a bed to sleep in and our clothes are nearly all put away. The living room is partially set up and we can sit comfortably.

Update: I went out to check the mail and my neighbor said she was moving out. She gave an excuse I do not believe, but that is her business. What concerns me, as we have just been in our apartment for ten days, is she said the property is in foreclosure. NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR! Calling the management company tomorrow to find out what is going on and figure out our future. UGH!

Just gonna’ put it in God’s hands and pray for him to protect us form whatever may come and do what is right for us. If you pray, add us to your please! Thank you.

On to reading and typing a short story my dad wrote nearly 50 years ago.


Garcinia Cambogia

Due to metabolic syndrome I have difficulty maintaining an appropriate weight. By appropriate, I mean appropriate for me. In researching Garcinia Cambogia I have found a few studies where it helps with cholesterol numbers (lowering LDL and Triglycerides) and since I am intolerant & allergic to statin drugs this may be an alternative. I am currently using fish oil and flax seed oil to get my levels down a bit, they will never be “normal, so my doc won’t freak out any more!

It seems to help with high blood pressure as well, which I have, so I am going to give it a try. If it helps with two of the issues it might help with other issues.


Metabolic Syndrome