Adult Bullies

This past school year I have seen numerous students bully and be bullied. We work to correct the behavior to no real avail. The problem does not start with the student. The problem begins with the role model. When we call parents about the behavior they attempt to bully us into not punishing their child. This year we have had an adult bully, not a sneaky/sly bully, but an outright, blatant bully in our school. She picks and chooses the ones she wants to terrorize. I was told that she focused on white faculty and staff, this was by a fellow teacher who is of color. She noticed that the bullying was based on race. Why this behavior is allowed by employees, I don’t know. We call SOME students on the carpet for this behavior. Why the double standard?

It appears my recent posts have been about race. Others’ problems with my race. Let us call it what it is, racism. I don’t say reverse racism because I think that is a crap term. Racism isn’t just one race (white) against another (black). Racism is ANY person who believes they are better because of their race and treats other as if they are less based solely on ‘race’. There are so few pure races in the US it seems absolutely absurd to base an opinion on someone solely on the color of their skin or the perception of who they are from the outer package. Please.

Let’s take control of our schools. We have a student code of conduct, let’s use it. We have an employee code of conduct, let’s use it. Too many double standards. Break the rules, pay the consequences. Once we get the adult bullies in line perhaps we can address the student bullies.

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“Disney is Ruining My Kid”

http://vigilantcitizen.com/latestnews/mom-blog-disney-ruining-kid/

I have stolen this article title. I admit it. I stole it because I have heard numerous parents and grandparents say something similar. They can no longer trust the Disney Channel to have upright, safe, moral programs for their children.

The mom who wrote the article was shocked to see her child’s behavior changing from a sweet respectful and caring child to a spoiled brat who was rude and hurtful to those around her. When she asked her daughter where she learned to say the things she was saying and do the things she was doing, her daughter replied “Disney Channel” shows. So the mom decided to spend the day watching her daughter’s programs. She was shocked at the rudeness and crudeness of the main characters. She was distressed to see that bullying and hurtful words were met with laughter (canned no doubt). All the things she worked so hard to teach her child not to do were being undone by the child-friendly, “wholesome” Disney Corporation. In the Disney world, smart is bad, beautiful is good. Sneaky, contrived, manipulating scenarios are funny.

I have noticed a new trend in Disney as well; stupid parents. Yep, usually Dad is the more moronic, Luddite-like, buffoon. Mom is marginally better, always overly-motherly and concerned for her child. Dad is usually depicted as either overly laid-back or overly protective of his daughter’s honor. Children are down-right disrespectful of their parents and other adults.

Another issue I have with these shows: there is an overly smart child who is dorky and usually does not fit into the “in-crowd” and the dumber child is cool. Oh, and everyone is okay with the lesser intelligent child being an underachiever because he/she is attractive and cool.

Disney is beginning to support the breakdown of the family unit. When children come off cooler and more intelligent than parents and are always teaching their parents lessons, we have a problem. To be fair, Disney is not the only perpetrator of this genre of entertainment. I see it nearly every children’s and teen’s entertainment today. TV, movies, music, and literature. Parents are clueless and idiotic. Kids are smarter, prettier, cleverer than the parents.

Where is The Cosby Show when we need it?

It Matters Whom You Marry

If a person has flaws, which they all do, they become amplified once you spend more and more time together. If it is a little annoying now, it will be unbearable after 5 or 10 years. And NO, you cannot change that person or “re-train” them to do things your way. It gos both ways. That little thing will grow. Be sure you are capable of dealing with it for the long haul, this is a lifetime commitment. If you don’t want that, get a pet – it is a shorter commitment.

THE CHRISTIAN PUNDIT

My husband and I were once with a youth group. There were three kids sitting across from us at a meal: two guys and a girl. The one guy was a computer geek with glasses. The other one was a college student with slightly cooler hair and no glasses. The girl was obviously with him. But while the computer geek was busy serving everyone at the meal, clearing plates and garbage, the college student got angry with the girl for a small accident and poured red juice over her leather jacket and white shirt. She picked the wrong guy, and the juice didn’t seem to change her mind. She is in for some grief if that relationship continues and especially if it leads to marriage.

So to all the young, unmarried Christian girls out there, listen up: who you marry matters.

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Children

Thinking

Thinking (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)

Even when they are grown up, they are your children. Mine will always be my baby. I know. I hated it also! My mom would tell people I was “her baby” and I immediately corrected her by saying “youngest.” Now, I get it. It doesn’t matter too much at this point. My daughter understands since she is my one and only, she will always be my baby. Even when she is married and a mom herself. She gets it. In this instance, she is more mature than I was at her age.

That being said. I am still trying, after 21 years, to get her to understand a couple of things we do as grown ups. One, when you are going somewhere, you tell your parents. Not to the store or out for dinner with friends, but leaving the state for more than a run across the border in a day kind of traveling. My daughter shares her calendar with us so we don’t call or text her while she is at work. We want to be professional and give her space to do things she has to do. My schedule is online as well so she can see when to call me and not interrupt my work day unless it is an emergency. So I knew she was flying to Florida for a wedding this month. I did not know she was leaving three days earlier to drive to Pennsylvania with her friend (whose mother is getting married). She did not leave an itinerary, no flight numbers, nor hotel name or room number, nada.

I have tried to instill in her the knowledge that you have to prepare for emergency situations. You make plans, just in case. I guess the two years of Girl Scouts did nothing at all. She used to be a planner. Like me. Yes, I like my lists and plans and all of those very OCD kind of things. Order makes me calm and feel like I am in control. Yes, I know I am not really in control and this is a game I play with myself. I thought I taught her to plan and implement.

In many ways my daughter is like me. She has picked up many of my good habits. Unfortunately, she has picked up a few back ones, like worry and stress. But she has not learned how to prevent some of that stuff. She has learned from her dad that it is okay as long as we a re having fun. That may not be a fair statement. I will give you an example of what I mean. My husband is the put off chores and lets have fun now kind of person. You know, “It will still be there when we get back” kind of person. He never understood when I would respond, “I know, that is the problem.”

My daughter has become that kind of person. Fun first. The difference is, she freaks out later and does the “Oh no! It is a problem now because I did not plan for …” and calls me to help her plan her way out of a problem she could have avoided on the front end.

So, her not letting us know she had left the state and was flying out of a different state, does not seem to be an issue for her. This is her dad’s way of thinking. I can just imagine his parents trying to raise him. It must have been terrible trying to keep track of where he was and who he was with at any given moment. I think they may have given up. They had other, more responsible children. I have one. She is my only child. I cannot give up. I will not.

So, I try humor. “You have to let me know where you are and where you are staying just in case I decide to die and Daddy has to let you know.”

Unfortunately, she is a chip off the block. “Sorry, I did dnot know you were planning to die any time soon.”

“No, it was ‘just in case’ because you never know.”

“Mo-o-om.” I can see the eyes rolling as we text.

Maybe I am a bit more OCD that I should be but it is because I live in a much too non-OCD world where it is okay for people to come and go and no one knows where you are. Maybe I should work for the government. I could teach mom’s how to indoctrinate their children into accepting the “motherly” hand of “Big-Brother.” Hmmm, a whole new career option just opened up for me.

Must run and explore that line of thought and make a plan. See ya’.

Being Mom

English: mom and baby

My baby just turned 21. She graduated from college in May. She has an apartment, a roommate and a couple of jobs to pay for her living expenses. She is looking for her first “real job” now. She is legally an adult.

But, I still worry. Did I do a good enough job? Does she have a moral center? Does she have a good work ethic? Will she make the right decisions? I still worry and I will worry about her until the day I die. That is being a mom.

When she goes out with friends, I worry. When she tells me her car is acting funny, I worry. When she says she hasn’t been to the doctor, dentist, optometrist, I worry. When I tell her I worry, she says “oh Mom, you did a great job.” I am not so sure.

I remind her that nothing on the internet is private. (Remember when you had to capitalize Internet?) Make sure your posts are tasteful and appropriate. Future employers are looking! “oh mo-o-om”

Yeah, I get that a lot. I worry.

I know I really shouldn’t worry too much, because she is a great kid and a wonderful daughter. Maybe it is not her so much as the company she keeps? Are they trustworthy with my child? Are they going to treat her with the respect she deserves? I worry.

Will I ever stop worrying? Probably not. One day, she will move farther away. One day, she will be married. One day, she will give me grandchildren. One day, she will worry about her own children and I will worry about them all.