Really Bummed

English: insulin resistance model

English: insulin resistance model (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

GlucAffect - Metabolic Syndrome

GlucAffect – Metabolic Syndrome (Photo credit: Reliv International)

I am really bummed out here people! I have been home for three weeks. I felt like I was doing okay but have had some carb cravings from hell! I have gained 5 pounds!! Seriously, not cool.

So, I am going back on the high protein and low carb WOL. See, I have Metabolic Syndrome or Syndrome X or whatever they are calling it these days. 22 years ago I was diagnosed with PCOS – Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Basically, my ovaries slowly stopped fully producing eggs and my metabolism slowed and I started gaining weight. Doctors did not know much about PCOS at the time. There were three options: take Provera four times a year, take birth control pills (did not work), or have a pie-shaped cut taken out of my ovaries – not sure how or why this was to help, really.

Three years later all put the ovaries were removed. One of the “side-effects” of not menstruating regularly is cervical dysplasia. Squamous cell carcinoma. After that, I was put on Spironilactone and Actos. No, not really helpful.

Three more years and additional weight I was diagnosed with hypertension, high lipids and triglycerides. Lipitor.

Then Insulin Resistance – IR – my cells stopped accepting the insulin needed to process the glucose. The body increases the insulin because the cells say “hey, we need insulin!” It is a vicious cycle. Metformin/Glucophage.

Here we are, fifteen years later and no better off. More is known but each doctor treats it differently. I have been told to eat more fiber and exercise more. I have had my Metformin doubled. My new doctor (I moved) doesn’t give Metformin, he says to eat a low glycemic diet.

I was also diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Synthroid.

Lyme Disease. Strong antibacterial. Lyme Disease sucks. Joint pain. Crazy pain. Tired. At my worst, I can sleep for 10-12 hours. My norm is about 6 when I am feeling good.

But, back to those five pounds. It may not seem to be a whole lot but when you are trying to lose 70 and you gain 5? Well, it kind of sucks. ANY carbs leads to carb cravings and overdose. To lose weight, none. Nada.

I have done the Syndrome X Diet back when I was first diagnosed and it worked. Really well. BUT, it is HARD. H-A-R-D! I had such severe cravings, like coming down or the DTs, I would sit on the couch and cry. My poor family could do nothing. The desire was tempered by my desire to not have a stroke or heart attack. I was scared.

Not as scared now. Probably because I hurt and am tired all the time. I realize that I need to figure out how to eat without the cravings and still lose weight. The extreme diet I used in the past is too extreme. I work with PK-4th grade kids, I need to have my sanity.

So, I am doing the protein drink in the morning. Chicken and salad for lunch. Meat and veg (green beans or broccoli) for dinner. I need to drop the 70 for my health and well-being.

Pray for me … and my husband. 😀

Discovery

Luna 8 years old napping.

English: A diagram of the stylostome, or the h...

English: A diagram of the stylostome, or the hardened tube of dead cells formed by chiggers (Larval form of the trombiculidae) when feeding on them. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Seems like life is full of discoveries. As of late things have changed in my life. My daughter has turned into a grown up – well, maybe adult is the better word. She graduated from college with a bachelor’s degree in communication with journalism emphasis. She moved into her own apartment. She is working, networking, looking for “the job” and looking to buy her own “first” car.

Yes, I cried at her graduation and although I am incredibly proud of her, I miss her and would love to have her closer to home.

My, our, puppy passed away. She was only nine. She had a reaction to medication and went to sleep on the kitchen floor. That was it. My husband called me at work. I think he was a little lost as to what to do. She was sweet and lovely natured. She was my daughter’s first real pet. Fish don’t count. Our pretty yellow lab named Luz de la Luna, yes – her name was light of the moon. She has nearly white fur except for a couple of pale gold lace-designed spots on the tips of her ears and the little gold on her back. She was my dog. She even slept with my husband and me. All 80 pounds of her. She was my furry baby.

I am seriously going through empty nest syndrome. No, I have not done harm to my husband but he is a little on my nerves. In all honesty, I am a bit of a loner so for me to be in a house with another person who really likes being with me, well…it is tough to say the least.

I have an opportunity to spend some time away from home this summer and I think it will do us all some good. Too much togetherness can destroy friendships and I’d like to stay friends with my husband, ya’ know?

Must get moving, I have been on the computer much too long this morning. With all the rain we have had we are getting pests in the house – no, not my husband. We plan to spray the house and the yard. Yes, the yard needs spraying because with the warmth and moisture we are inundated with ticks and chiggers outside.

I was diagnosed with Lyme disease this year so I am a bit paranoid now. Hubby and I worked in the yard last week and picked up chiggers. NOT FUN!!

Discoveries as of late – I still like being alone, I like yard work but hate chiggers! I miss my kid. I  miss my dog. I’d like to miss hubby – but only for a couple of weeks. I am okay not being at work but I am excited to start a new project. Oh, and I really miss caffeine!